


Black water

by sad_eyed_lady_of_the_low_lands



Category: Killjoys (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen, I'm mean to my fave characters, Missing Scene, PTSD, Panic Attacks, hurt comfort, mentions Johnny and Pawter, season 1e03 coda, title means very little outside of I am bad at naming things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 14:39:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12459870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sad_eyed_lady_of_the_low_lands/pseuds/sad_eyed_lady_of_the_low_lands
Summary: They stand there for a moment, watching each other. They’re quiet, but Dutch’s gaze says a lot, more than he could really quantify, but mostly it means "you’re not alone anymore". He hopes she know’s his means "thank you."“Are you okay?” She asks, after a while.D’av nods, it’s true. Mostly.Dutch squeezes his hands again before letting go and clearing her throat.Missing scene from The Harvest, (s01e03)





	Black water

**Author's Note:**

> This picks up directly after the episode ends.  
> Please heed the tags, I'm well aware this could be triggering.

_“What about you, can you treat me?”_  
_“What’s in it for me?”_  
_“I don’t like other Doctors, I like you.”_

 

D’av shoves his way out of the Royal and ducks down the nearest alleyway he comes up short when he realises it’s a dead end. 

_Where are you going, Jaqobis?_

_…I don’t know._

D’av backs up until his shoulders hit the wall where he curls over, pressing his hands against his face. He’s shaking. This is pathetic, he should be making sure his idiot broth get’s his ear sown back in the right place, not hiding here like a coward. 

“D’avin?”

He starts, his heart catching in his throat, his gun’s half drawn when he realises it’s Dutch. 

“ _Shit!”_ D’av shoves the gun back into its holster and slumps against the wall, trying to catch his breath. 

“What happened?” Dutch’s voice has that sharp, no nonsense edge to it. 

D’av shakes his head, “nothing.”

“D’avin, if you’re going to lie to me could you at least make it convincing?”

D’av shakes his head, again. He wants to say something, to explain, to tell her it’s okay, anything really, but the words stick in his throat. 

“Hey,” Dutch steps closer and catches his wrist. “Whatever it is we’ll figure it out, but you need to tell me what happened.”

“Nothing- it’s not what you- I just-“ D’av cuts himself off, he’s not even sure what he’s trying to say but he know’s none of this is making any sense. “Pawter,” he says after a moment, “I-“

“She failed your psych eval,” Dutch says, in a tone that suggests she’s more than willing to hunt Pawter down and _make_ her sign it. 

“No,” he chokes, “no she passed me.”

“She said she could help me,” D’av blurts,” with, you know,” he gestures vaguely at his head. 

“That’s good, isn’t it?” Dutch asks, gently. 

D’av nods shakily. 

“Then what’s wrong?”

“I don’t like talking about it, okay? It just- it makes it seem _real_ ,” the words tumble out, knocking up against each other as he talks. He shouldn’t be telling her this, every ounce of common sense he has is telling him he shouldn’t trust her, she’s secrets wrapped in mystery wrapped in more secrets and yet… He just can’t seem to help it

“It’s not real enough when you wake up screaming?” 

D’av laughs bitterly, pressing his hands against his face. She’s right, this is stupid, this is beyond stupid. 

“Hey,” gently Dutch tugs his hands away from his face. “I know.”

“What if she’s wrong, what if she can’t fix me?” D’av breathes. 

“I don’t belive that,” she squeezes his hands. “Look, I don’t pretend to know what you’re going through, but I know how hard it is to ask for help. I know that took a lot of strength. I’m glad you did, D’av.”

They stand there for a moment, watching each other. They’re quiet, but Dutch’s gaze says a lot, more than he could really quantify, but mostly it means _you’re not alone anymore_. He hopes she know’s his means _thank you_.

 

“Are you okay?” She asks, after a while. 

D’av nods, it’s true. Mostly.  
Dutch squeezes his hands again before letting go and clearing her throat, “we should probably…”

“Go check on Johnny?”

“Go check on Johnny,” Dutch nods, turning on her heels and starting back down the ally.

“Hey,” D’av falls into stride next to her, “how did you find me, back there?”

Dutch glances at him, “I saw you come out of the Royal. You walked straight past me, I didn’t think you’d noticed.”

“So you followed me?”

“You looked like you could use a friend.”


End file.
